DOMA Ruled Unconstitutional

THE MORE THE MARRY-ER DEPT.

Today, the Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that the Defense of Marriage of Act (DOMA) was unconstitutional — meaning that same-sex couples would receive the same federal benefits as other married couples.  It’s a great day for equality, a great day for tolerance, and a terrible day for homosexuals with commitment issues. All in all, though, SCOTUS made a bold move — and it’s time to sing their praises.

MedicAlert Bracelets We'll See Now That Obesity Is A "Disease"

WHO’S YOUR FATTY? DEPT.

The American Medical Association is now classifying obesity as a disease. Which is great news — because that means we’ve no longer the fattest country in the world — just the sickest! (U-S-A! U-S-A!) Still, if obesity is now a disease, the “afflicted” will need a way to let emergency personnel know about their condition! Lucky, MAD took that food for thought and cooked up...

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