GOOD SWILL AMBASSADOR DEPT.
HOLY SEEING IS BELIEVING DEPT.
Pope Benedict XVI made his retirement official yesterday with a farewell address to the faithful at St. Peter’s Square — but with a crowd of thousands in attendance, there was much more to be heard than Benedict’s monotone Latinate mumbling!
THE GREAT BLIGHT WAY DEPT.
WHERE EAT MEATS JEST DEPT.
As anyone who has ever left a job will tell you, there are always lots of loose ends to be tied up before walking out the door. And, good Lord, it’s no different with Pope Benedict XVI, who will resign his papacy on Thursday.
Yesterday, the White House released Michelle Obama’s new official portrait. And while she looks great, and it features her celebrated bangs, we’ve recently learned that there were other shots taken that featured alternate hairstyles for the First Lady! Never one to shy away from exposing a political scandal (no matter how coiffe-based) MAD is proud to share these…
Former Illinois Representative Jesse Jackson Jr. pled guilty to misusing $750,000 in campaign funds for personal expenses like Rolexes, fur capes and sports memorabilia (you know, the essentials). He won’t be sentenced until late June, but he could face up to 57 months in prison! On the plus side, that’ll give him a few months to stare at his autographed footballs while snuggled up in a sable fur poncho.
When Mindy McCready died over the weekend, she became the fifth patient from Celebrity Rehab to commit suicide. It also put the show’s host and creator, Dr. Drew, under scrutiny. Personally, we don’t trust any doctor who uses their first name as their last one (We’re looking at you, Dr. Phil!). And while we can’t say they should throw the book at Dr. Drew for his years of exploiting celebrity addiction, we thought we’d at least throw this book at him.
On Sunday, Michael Jordan is turning 50! What do you get the aging man who has everything? Some fine arch support and sumptuously-cushioned insoles, that’s what!