Michele Bachmann Quits Congress: MAD Will Miss Her!

CLASSIC MAD DEPT.

Whoever said, “Dying is easy, comedy is hard” died before Michele Bachmann ran for public office. The four-term, factually-challenged Congresswoman from Minnesota was a gift to comedy writers everywhere — her gaffes providing daily fodder for pundits, late-night comedians and yes, even MAD. Yesterday, Mrs. Bachmann announced that she would not seek another term in Congress. Her departure from the political scene will once again make comedy hard. Good bye, Mrs. Bachmann. And thanks.

Jesse Jackson Jr.'s Been Bad

A FINE JESS DEPT.

Former Illinois Representative Jesse Jackson Jr. pled guilty to misusing $750,000 in campaign funds for personal expenses like Rolexes, fur capes and sports memorabilia (you know, the essentials). He won’t be sentenced until late June, but he could face up to 57 months in prison! On the plus side, that’ll give him a few months to stare at his autographed footballs while snuggled up in a sable fur poncho.

Todd Akin’s Stupid Rape Comment

RAPE-NUTS DEPT.

When asked recently if victims of rape should be allowed to have an abortion, idiot Congressman Todd Akin (R-Missouri) said that such pregnancies are "really rare.” “If it’s a legitimate rape,” he added, “the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.” The predictable political backlash followed and soon Democrats AND Republicans were re-evaluating his creepy campaign — saying it was time to shut that whole thi

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