TOUCHDOWNWARD SPIRAL DEPT.
LIGHT MAKES RIGHT DEPT.
LEGION OF BOO DEPT.
TIGHT END OF THE LINE DEPT.
Things keep getting worse for former New England Patriots star Aaron Hernandez, who is under investigation for a 2012 double murder in Boston at the same time a case proceeds against him for the murder of a “friend.” Virtually nobody is proclaiming Hernandez’s innocence, and he seems destined for a life of dirty bunkbeds and sharpened toothbrush handles. Is there anyone out there who can sympathize with this guy? Funny you should ask…
PUTIN ON THE RITZ DEPT.
With Super Bowl XLVII fast approaching, we thought we’d take this opportunity to revisit some of the most memorable plays and achievements in the history of the big game. These three alone are more stimulating than a syringe-ful of deer-antler extract!
The NFL’s replacement refs have been ultra-horrendous all season — and last night, when they botched the winning “touchdown” in the Seahawks-Packers game, they weren’t even that good! But no worries! The idiot NFL says the idiot refs got it right! Meanwhile, the league continues to lock out the real refs because the poor saps want a pension — which a league that makes 40 zillion dollars a year apparently can’t afford.
The Penn State Child abuse scandal was back in the news this morning thanks to the release of the Freeh Report. The report investigated the sexual abuse charges at Penn State and — you’re not gonna believe this — confirmed what everyone’s been saying for months now: that Joe Paterno and other Penn State officials repeatedly covered up Jerry Sandusky’s sexual abuse of children.
Yesterday, the NFL announced new rules regarding overtime play and instant-replay reviews. But buried in their official announcement were some other rule changes that will probably cause Al Michaels to vomit into his mouth.