Classic MAD: The Alex Rodriguez Piss Cup Collectible

CLASSIC MAD DEPT.

No surprise, no surprise! Evidence has emerged that Alex Rodriguez took performance enhancing drugs the last three years. Wow, just imagine how crappy he would have played if he hadn’t been taking them! When he first admitted he was a steroid cheat back in 2009, we were proud to promote his new collectible piss cup. Look for A-Rod on Oprah soon!

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Lance Armstrong Comes Clean: Cheatings from France

CLASSIC MAD DEPT.

Yesterday, Lance Armstrong finally came clean and admitted to being a lying, cheating, drug-using weasel. After years of steadfast denials, what prompted this sudden act of truthfulness? Some say it was the overwhelming evidence compiled against him. We say the tipping point for Lance clearly came after he appeared in the piece below as one of 2012's "20 Dumbest People, Events and Things" in MAD #519 — on sale now!

mad magazine the idiotical Lance Armstrong Comes Clean: Cheatings from France Classic MAD, Sports, Lance Armstrong, Cycling, Doping, Steroids, Cheating, Mark Stutzman, Desmond Devlin

Other Punishments for Lance Armstrong

CYCLE KILLER DEPT.

Yesterday, Lance Armstrong decided to stop contesting the charges that he used performance-enhancing drugs during his career. He still denies that he ever doped, but it still means that he’ll be stripped of his seven Tour De France titles, his Olympic bronze medal and any other titles from 1998 onward (thankfully, he can keep his Latin Grammy). He’ll also have to return all prize money, and will be barred for life from performing or even coaching. That’s all gotta hurt…and it’s not even the worst of it!

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