ROTTEN TO THE CORLEONE DEPT.
UNPROTECTED SACKS DEPT.
BEAUTY AND THE OBESE DEPT.
ALL YOU NEED IS GOV DEPT.
A BRIDGE TOO MARRED DEPT.
HOLDING DOWN THE FORT LEE DEPT.
THE BOOTH OF A NATION DEPT.
Yesterday, President Obama met with Governor Chris Christie to tour parts of the Jersey Shore that were ravaged by Hurricane Sandy. It was a rare display of both bipartisanship and unbridled bromance. We’re happy to report that not only was a splendid time had by all — it was also captured on film!
EAT, WEIGH, GUV DEPT.
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie recently revealed that he had undergone lap-band surgery in order to help him get down to his “goal weight” of a svelte 535 pounds. We salute his newfound resolve to lead a healthier life — but, given his donut-inhaling history, we’re a little worried about a relapse. But if such a thing does happen, it will at least make for riveting drama.
2012 was the hottest year in the nation’s history! And while that’s not a surprise to anyone who set foot outside in the last 365 days (excluding that loveable shut-in, John Caldwell), there were several other tip-offs that you might have missed.