Arnold Artist: Richard Williams
Yesterday, HBO’s The Newsroom picked up a bunch of new 13-year-old fans after actress Alison Pill accidentally posted a topless shot of herself to Twitter. We asked the show’s creator, Aaron Sorkin, to comment — but that was an hour ago, and he’s still walking around our office in circles, talking endlessly about nothing.
Oh what a night! Not only is Barack Obama accepting the nomination at the Democratic Nation Convention, but the MTV Video Music Awards is also on! We don’t know which boring televised event to ignore first! But just because we’re not watching, that doesn’t mean we’re not paying attention — which is how we came to notice these…
The newest issue of Vanity Fair contains an article about Scientology, alleging that the Church held auditions in 2004 to find a wife for Tom Cruise. And with Tommy Boy single again, that means there’s a new opening! Since we would never stand in the way of love (or, for that matter, downwind of it), we’re happy to present another journalistic exclusive.
Oh Lindsay. The full-time train-wreck (and acting hobbyist) was accused this week of stealing $100,000 worth of jewelry and sunglasses from a friend’s house. And it looked like she might actually have to face the music...until the victim decided he didn’t want to press charges.
The Jackson Family has been through a lot. First Grandma Katherine went missing. Then she turned up. But she wound up losing custody of Michael’s three kids. And all the uncles and aunts are fighting about who’d have custody. (Yes, even Tito!) And Michael’s kids were tweeting accusations and complaints about the whole mess. At this point, the Jackson who’s in the best shape may be Michael! Anyway, all this family drama got us thinking about another ridiculous family that’s been in the news lately.
Yesterday, Twilight star and professional pouter Kristen Stewart admitted to a fling with her Snow White and the Huntsman director, Rupert Sanders. Her on- and off-screen beau, Robert Pattinson, was crushed by this news, as was Stewart’s legion of pre-teen fans who finally got a glimpse at a harsh reality of love that vampire books can never fully illustrate.
Like all of Tom Cruise’s projects, the end of his marriage to Katie Holmes left many upset, unsatisfied, and confused over what the hell happened. The only difference is that while a Cruise movie only lasts about 2 hours, his divorce dragged out in the media for weeks before he and Katie came to terms. And while much about the Cruise/Holmes union is still shrouded in mystery, we were fortunate enough to dig up some real TomKat dirt! So, if you can’t handle the truth, don’t read:
Now that the 4th of July has passed and the stray fires from illegal fireworks have been extinguished, and the pungent smell of vomit from Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest at Coney Island is but a fading memory, we have time to reflect on something that took place in New York City this holiday week: the marriage of Alec Baldwin to Hilaria Thomas — a woman not quite half his age.
We just heard the heartwreching news: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' marriage is kaput. But MAD doesn't like to dwell on the negative. Instead, let's remember them as they were just six short years ago, basking in the glow of new parenthood...