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Information about Paul Ryan Now Being Spread by Democrats

LEGENDS OF THE PAUL DEPT.

Over the weekend Mitt Romney announced that his vice presidential running mate would be Paul Ryan, a U.S. Representative from Wisconsin’s 1st District. Not that much is known about Paul (especially if you’re not into reading newspapers or researching things). So aside from the fact that his last name is also a first name (crazy!), we weren’t sure what to expect from The Man Who Would Be Veep. Luckily, we stumbled across this…

Reasons July was the Hottest Month Ever

ALL YOU CAN HEAT DEPT.

The numbers are in, and — wait for it — July was the hottest month ever recorded in the United States! (We weren’t asking you to “wait for it” for dramatic reasons; we just needed to wipe our sweat-drenched foreheads and chug a two-liter bottle of Gatorade “Turquoise Permafrost”!) We did conduct an exhaustive study, however, and discovered the…

Reasons Why Google Has Delayed Its Nexus Q Streaming Device

BOULEVARD OF BROKEN STREAMS DEPT.

Google was pretty excited about their “answer” to Apple TV — the Nexus Q. So it was surprising when the cyber-behemoth announced that it was suspending the launch of the media streaming doodad…indefinitely. Reps said they wanted to take time out to make it “even better,” which shouldn’t be hard, given that the Nexus Q can only stream content from Google Music, Google Play, and (Google-owned) YouTube.

Things You Can Learn from The Learning Channel’s New Show — "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo"

OH, THE PLACES YOU’LL GO GO DEPT.

Tonight, TLC introduces its newest epic Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo, a gag-inducing spin-off of Toddlers & Tiaras. The show revolves around six-year-old pageant contestant Alana Thompson (Honey Boo-Boo) as she frantically runs into things, squawks with the inflection of a bad Madea impersonator and chugs Go-Go Juice (a child-friendly beverage made by combining Mountain Dew and Red Bull).

Surprising Features on the Mars Rover Curiosity

UP, UP AND A WASTE! DEPT.

This week in Mars news, the NASA rover “Curiosity” (also the name of a new perfume for cats) successfully landed on the red planet. The mission, which has been in the works since 2004, cost about 2.5 billion dollars! While our sources tell us about a tenth of that money was spent getting all 18,800 NASA employees “Curiosity” windbreakers, the rest went to building the actual spacecraft.

Flavors That Won’t Be Winning Lay’s Potato Chip Naming Contest

ABANDON CHIP! DEPT.

Have you ever thought, “Boy, I wish I had a shot at deciding the flavor of some new potato chip that’s sure to underperform and be discontinued!”? Well, with Lays’ “Do Us a Flavor” contest, that passing thought can become a mediocre reality! They’re giving a million dollars to the lucky schlub who comes up with the best new potato chip flavor. (A million dollars?

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