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Similarities and Differences Between the Democratic National Convention and the MTV Video Music Awards

NOMINEE-JERK REACTIONS DEPT.

Oh what a night! Not only is Barack Obama accepting the nomination at the Democratic Nation Convention, but the MTV Video Music Awards is also on! We don’t know which boring televised event to ignore first! But just because we’re not watching, that doesn’t mean we’re not paying attention — which is how we came to notice these…

"Bo Confidential" Available Exclusively on the MAD iPad App!

A VIEW TO A SHILL DEPT.

Do you love dogs? And satire? But do you also HATE paper? Boy oh boy do we have some good news for you, Bucky! Bo Confidential: The Secret Files of America’s First Dog is now available on your iPad — and ONLY through the MAD app! Written by the Usual Gang of Idiots and illustrated by Tom Richmond, it’s a can’t-miss download. So let us ask you — how much would you pay for this amazing product? Fifteen dollars? Twenty-five? Thirty-five?

Exposed! Tom Cruise’s Prospective Wife Questionnaire

CRUISED EGO DEPT.

The newest issue of Vanity Fair contains an article about Scientology, alleging that the Church held auditions in 2004 to find a wife for Tom Cruise. And with Tommy Boy single again, that means there’s a new opening! Since we would never stand in the way of love (or, for that matter, downwind of it), we’re happy to present another journalistic exclusive.

Other Surprises About the Bin Laden Raid Revealed in the Book “No Easy Day”

BIN THERE, DONE THAT DEPT.

No Easy Day — the new book about the mission to kill Osama Bin Laden, written by one of the Navy SEALs who was there — is already creating controversy. The author’s account of Bin Laden’s death states that the terrorist leader wasn’t shot by the SEAL team, but shot himself, then was finished off by the soldiers.  We don’t quite get what the fuss is about — either way, the story has a happy ending! But this discrepancy does open the door to a bunch of other bombshell revelations!

Lindsay Lohan in "Grand Theft LiLo"

YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE LOHAN DEPT.

Oh Lindsay. The full-time train-wreck (and acting hobbyist) was accused this week of stealing $100,000 worth of jewelry and sunglasses from a friend’s house. And it looked like she might actually have to face the music...until the victim decided he didn’t want to press charges.

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