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Red Bull’s Adrenaline-Pumping New Flavors

PUSHED TO THE DRINK OF INSANITY DEPT.

Red Bull recently announced that in addition to their original flavor, they’d soon be introducing cranberry, lime and blueberry versions. This is good news for anyone who’s barfed up a Red Bull and thought, “I’d sure love to taste some variety in my vomit!” With that spirit of diversity in mind, we’re proud to offer a sneak peak at even MORE Red Bull flavors coming out soon!

New James Bond Poster Revealed

LICENSE TO SHILL DEPT.

Adele’s new song from Skyfall debuted today — and everyone’s going ga-ga-goofy over it! But that news has completely overshadowed the bigger scoop about the latest James Bond movie! Apparently, while fans were distracted, producers quietly retooled the entire movie to make it more air-travel friendly! No doubt they’re after those sweet, sweet product placement dollars. Scoundrels!

Mitt Romney Mounts Big Bird's Head on the Wall

YELLOW AND GOODBYE DEPT.

In last night’s Presidential debate, Mitt Romney vowed to kill Federal funding for Big Bird if elected President. After consoling the millions of weeping toddlers across the nation, we wondered what Mitt’s Christmas card would look like if he does assume the Oval Office and make good on his promise. Snuffleupagus, beware!

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