Blog

The Elmo Puppeteer Sex Scandal, Set to Music

ELMO MONEY, ELMO PROBLEMS DEPT.

Hey, kids, let’s do this by the numbers: 1) Sheldon Stephens, a 23-year-old man declares that when he was 16, he had sex with Kevin Clash, the voice and Muppeteer of Sesame Street's Elmo. 2) Stephens later recants his story and says they had sex when he was over 18. 3) We find out he recanted his story only after he received $125,000 from Clash. 4) Stephens then recanted his recant and says his original claim is true! Phew, that’s a lot of numbers!

MAD Asks…Who Said It? Mitt Romney or Mr. Burns? VOLUME 2!

MITT HAPPENS DEPT.

Back in March, we ran a post asking readers to decide which statements were made by Mitt Romney, and which were made by Mr. Burns. Turns out it was harder than you’d expect to differentiate between the quotes of an evil cartoon zillionaire and a Republican Presidential hopeful (and zillionaire). And even though Mitt wound up losing the election, fortunately, he’s still staying cartoonishly-stupid things.

BP Pleads Guilty — MAD Told You So!

CLASSIC MAD DEPT.

In December 2010, BP earned the top spot in MAD’s “20 Dumbest People, Events and Things” with their horrific oil rig explosion and the disastrous oil spill that followed in the Gulf of Mexico. Today, BP finally admitted their guilt, agreed to pay $4.5 billion in fines and pled guilty to 14 criminal charges. A small bit of justice for the 11 people killed in the explosion and the millions more whose lives were disrupted or forever ruined by BP’s gross incompetence.

“Papa John” Schnatter: Stingiest Man Alive!

A REAL PIZZA SH*T DEPT.

If you thought that the worst thing about Papa John’s Pizza was the pizza, prepare to be stunned! Turns out that the policies of “Papa John” himself, John Schnatter, will leave an even worse taste in your mouth! The chain’s founder and CEO said that Obamacare would cost him too much money and that he’d have to cut the hours of employees eligible for healthcare. It looks like Schnatter just wants a bigger piece of the pie…

Reasons Why The L.A. Lakers Didn’t Rehire Phil Jackson

COACH INFESTATION DEPT.

After starting the season 1-4, the L.A. Lakers dumped their coach, Mike Brown, and interviewed — who else? — Phil Jackson for the job. With more NBA championship rings than he has fingers, Jackson was the clear favorite. But things didn’t quite work out and no one is quite sure why — except us!

TOTALLY MAD Tops the New York Times Hardcover Graphic Books Best Seller List!

To celebrate MAD MAGAZINE’s 60th anniversary, Time Home Entertainment Inc. foolishly teamed up with MAD MAGAZINE on TOTALLY MAD: 60 YEARS OF HUMOR, SATIRE, STUPIDITY AND STUPIDITY, a new collection of the legendary humor magazine’s high-quality idiocy.

This afternoon, THE NEW YORK TIMES posted their weekly Best Seller lists and for some unexplainable reason, TOTALLY MAD debuted at #1 on their Hardcover Graphic Book list.

Pages