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Other Ways the U.S. Postal Service is Cutting Back

CLASSIC MAD DEPT.

The United States Postal Service surprised absolutely nobody today by announcing that Saturday mail delivery will cease, beginning in August. And while it’ll be a bummer not to get that weekly mound of Pottery Barn catalogs and solicitations from the March of Dimes, it’s made even worse by the fact that extreme measures the Post Office has already taken — first reported in MAD #512, December 2011 — have had no effect at all.

Unintended Consequences of Getting Rid of the Penny

MAKES NO CENTS DEPT.

Canada is eliminating the penny from its currency! We know what you’re thinking — “Who cares about anything Canada does?” And normally we’d agree — except that there’s been talk about retiring the penny in America, too! It seems like no one has researched the facts and come to an informed decision about the topic! And we’re not saying we did, either, but that didn’t stop us from crafting this list of…

What Was Obama REALLY Shooting At?

ALL YOU CAN SKEET DEPT.

To quiet those who have questioned the president’s gun use, the White House released a photo over the weekend that showed Obama skeet shooting. They say that a picture is worth a thousand words — but in this case, the picture is only telling half the story (so, it’s really only, like, 500 words…600 words max). What was really in Obama's sights? We can only speculate.

"The New Yorker" Rips Off MAD?

CONDÉ NASTY DEPT.

It was recently brought to our attention that the February 4, 2013 issue of The New Yorker bears more than a passing resemblance to MAD #293 from March 1990. Even more disturbing: this issue of The New Yorker is chock-full of “original” articles such as “Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions at a MoMA Opening”, “A Peek Behind the Scenes at the Chamber Music Society of Lincoln Center” and “Thurber vs. Thurber”. On the positive side: David Remnick’s Fold-In is actually pretty good.

Classic MAD: The Alex Rodriguez Piss Cup Collectible

CLASSIC MAD DEPT.

No surprise, no surprise! Evidence has emerged that Alex Rodriguez took performance enhancing drugs the last three years. Wow, just imagine how crappy he would have played if he hadn’t been taking them! When he first admitted he was a steroid cheat back in 2009, we were proud to promote his new collectible piss cup. Look for A-Rod on Oprah soon!

The Startling Similarities and Differences Between Chris Brown and Jesus Christ

THE PASSION OF THE CHRIS DEPT.

After reportedly assaulting Frank Ocean, Chris Brown posted a picture on Instagram of Jesus on the cross, with the message “Painting the way I feel today.” Awww, poor fella. Heavy is the head that wears the thorny crown! Still, we got to thinking, maybe we’re being too hard on Chris—especially if he IS the second coming! Which got us thinking about…

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