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Insanely Exhaustive Reasons Why Charles Manson Was Denied Parole

YOU'VE GOT JAIL DEPT.

On Wednesday, Charles Manson was denied parole for the 12th, and probably final, time. Ever since being locked up 40 years ago for engineering a series of grisly murders, ol’ Chuckles just can’t catch a break! We’re sure that the parole board must have had their reasons for keeping the wild-eyed kook from sweet, sweet freedom — in fact, here they are!

MAD Magazine Reasons Why Charles Manson was Denied Parole the idioitcal

Ozzie Guillen's Despot Dream Team

HALL OF SHAME DEPT.

Miami Marlins coach Ozzie Guillen was suspended for five games after stating that he “loved” and “respected” longtime Cuban dictator Fidel Castro. Last time we checked, the constitution protected free speech — even free stupid speech. (Thank god, or we would have been out of business years ago!) But the ever vigilant Political Correctness Police quickly stoked the issue and now there are calls everywhere for Ozzie’s head. As champions of free speech, we deplore this over-reaction. But as comedy whores, we jump on the Dump Ozzie Bandwagon and proudly present …

MAD Magazine Ozzie Guillen's Despot Dream Team

MAD Magazine Ozzie Guillen's Despot Dream Team plusMAD Magazine Ozzie Guillen's Despot Dream Team complete

Surprising Discoveries Made at the White House Easter Egg Roll

THE YOLK'S ON THEM DEPT.

Today the White House hosted its annual Easter Egg Roll on the South Lawn. We weren’t invited (thanks to an incident last year involving lawn darts and David Axelrod — who’s recovering nicely, we’re happy to report) but many children were. And plenty of unlucky kids rolled their eggs off course into the treacherous fringes of the lawn — where they made some pretty startling discoveries.

MAD Magazine Surprising Discoveries Made at the White House Easter Egg Roll barack obama joe biden the iditoical

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