Remember in 2009 when Chris Brown viciously beat his girlfriend Rihanna into a bloody pulp? You do? Well then, you should probably tell Rihanna — because it seems like she’s forgotten all about it.
Over the weekend, “Gangnam Style” by South Korean pop star PSY became YouTube’s most viewed video of all time, taking the #1 spot from “Baby” by Justin Bieber. Unseating Beebs is HUGE news — since it proves that Canada isn’t the only foreign country that can export an annoying song by a stupidly-dressed, prancing moron with ridiculous hair.
This year’s Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade will debut a brand new balloon based on the character “Companion” by the former graffiti artist KAWS. Sure, it’s exciting — but he's covering up his face! Who knows what’s behind those be-gloved hands?!? We do! And now, so do you.
Hey, kids, let’s do this by the numbers: 1) Sheldon Stephens, a 23-year-old man declares that when he was 16, he had sex with Kevin Clash, the voice and Muppeteer of Sesame Street's Elmo. 2) Stephens later recants his story and says they had sex when he was over 18. 3) We find out he recanted his story only after he received $125,000 from Clash. 4) Stephens then recanted his recant and says his original claim is true! Phew, that’s a lot of numbers!
Back in March, we ran a post asking readers to decide which statements were made by Mitt Romney, and which were made by Mr. Burns. Turns out it was harder than you’d expect to differentiate between the quotes of an evil cartoon zillionaire and a Republican Presidential hopeful (and zillionaire). And even though Mitt wound up losing the election, fortunately, he’s still staying cartoonishly-stupid things.