Former Illinois Representative Jesse Jackson Jr. pled guilty to misusing $750,000 in campaign funds for personal expenses like Rolexes, fur capes and sports memorabilia (you know, the essentials). He won’t be sentenced until late June, but he could face up to 57 months in prison! On the plus side, that’ll give him a few months to stare at his autographed footballs while snuggled up in a sable fur poncho.
When Mindy McCready died over the weekend, she became the fifth patient from Celebrity Rehab to commit suicide. It also put the show’s host and creator, Dr. Drew, under scrutiny. Personally, we don’t trust any doctor who uses their first name as their last one (We’re looking at you, Dr. Phil!). And while we can’t say they should throw the book at Dr. Drew for his years of exploiting celebrity addiction, we thought we’d at least throw this book at him.
On Sunday, Michael Jordan is turning 50! What do you get the aging man who has everything? Some fine arch support and sumptuously-cushioned insoles, that’s what!
In honor of Valentine's Day, and as a service to single women everywhere, we offer some romantic advice from the classic MAD article "A MAD Guide to Mr. Right and Mr. Wrong."
Last night, while delivering the GOP rebuttal to President Obama’s State of the Union Address, an obviously-parched Senator Marco Rubio reached for a bottle of water. Unfortunately, he wasn’t exactly as graceful as a ballerina. Actually, it was more akin to a 1,000-pound man lunging for the last shrimp at an all-you-can eat buffet. But was this brief human moment worth all the ridiculous hoopla that the media is giving it? Nah, it’s already water under the bridge.
Yesterday, Kate Upton was announced as the cover girl of Sport Illustrated’s Swimsuit Issue! And tonight, President Obama delivers the State of the Union Address! Guess which of these things more Americans care about? C’mon Barry, it’s time to give the people what they want!
It's been reported that Pope Benedict XVI will be resigning from his post due to "advanced age". We can't help but wonder if the Pontiff's been feeling pressure to step down ever since we named him as one of 2010's 20 dumbest people of the year.