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MAD’s 2012 OSCAR PREDICTIONS

The 2012 Oscar nominations were announced today with the award ceremony scheduled for February 26. While who will capture the coveted Irving Thalberg Award remains as unpredictable as ever, here are some other things you can pretty much already see coming up the red carpet...

Elite Press Attacks Newt Gingrich

Fresh on the heels of last night’s CNN debate, where moderator John King asked Newt Gingrich about allegations that he wanted an open marriage, and Gingrich responded with a blistering charge that the liberal media was attacking him while protecting Obama, this explosive newspaper appeared on newsstands this morning. We always thought the former House Speaker was an egotistical, paranoid blowhard. And after reading this, we’re more convinced than ever.

A Classic Tolstoy Novel Updated

Recently video was (ahem) leaked of four Marines urinating on the corpses of Taliban fighters. (And they said waterboarding was bad!) Having never been on the battlefield, we’ll reserve final comment. But on the surface it certainly looks as if the Marines were “going” down the wrong path with this. In a related development, there are unconfirmed rumors that two of the Marines have just signed deals to act as spokesmen for Flomax.

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