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New Shows on the DogTV Channel

IT'S THE LEASH YOU CAN DO DEPT.

DogTV, a new on-demand channel made specifically for dogs, recently debuted in San Diego — and enough suckers there are paying five bucks a month for it that DogTV will soon be offered nationwide.  The channel features “footage and soundtracks designed for stimulation [and] relaxation” — meaning lots of traffic, nature scenes, and, of course, canine-centric twists on human favorites.

Reasons Why Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Finally Got Engaged

THE FOOLS OF ENGAGEMENT DEPT.

After 7 years and almost as many babies, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt announced that they’re engaged to be married. What does this mean for the allegedly-happy couple? For one thing, they can look forward to getting a brand new toaster! It also means you’ll have to read these…

North Korea's Rocket Failure Kit

JONG-Y ROCKETS DEPT.

Yesterday, a rocket launched by North Korea went kablooey (which is NOT a Korean word meaning “successfully into space”!) The failure left the country’s leaders with egg on their faces — which, tragically, for millions of starving North Koreans, is as close to a meal as they’ll get! It’s not surprising that the rocket blew apart, considering where it came from...

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