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Occupy Wall Street's May Day Poster Revised

CAUSE AND DEFECTS DEPT.

Occupy Wall Street organizers had a full slate of protests planned for today, but there was only one problem — the phrase “OWS organizers” is a bit of an oxymoron. And after a few months of protestors putting aside their white-hot rage (because the weather got a little nippy), their vague, scattered demands just resulted in today’s vague, scattered protests. Oh well — at least they got to make a pretty poster!

Ways to Get the Most Out of "Take Your Child to Work Day"

SPARE THE JOB, SPOIL THE CHILD DEPT.

Today is one of America’s most beloved pseudo-holidays, right up there with Root Vegetable Awareness Week: “Take Your Child to Work Day.” In bringing your son or daughter to work today, you’re teaching them the importance of commitment, dedication, and putzing around on eBay. And as long as you’ve got the little monster in the office with you, you might as well make the best of it — and we’re here to help.

The Obama Dive Bar Girl — What Was She Saying?

A BLANK DEPOSIT DEPT.

By now you’ve seen this picture of “dive bar girl” Madalyn Starkey posing with the President. You know the face. You know the point. But you don’t know what she said! Or do you?!? (You’re so secretive, you little minx, you!) We wrote a few ourselves — click through and share your own in the comments section!  

Celebrity Fashion — MAD Asks, “Who Wore it Better?”

THE DOPPELGANGER’S ALL HERE DEPT.

Whenever two celebrities wear the same outfit, there’s always a stupid article about who looked better in it. So we decided we want in on that action! After all, stupid articles are pretty much our bread and butter! Join the democratic process — cast your votes in the comment section!

The Real Cause of the Recent Airplane-Bird Collisions

CLASSIC MAD DEPT.

Over the last two weeks, collisions with birds have forced two planes to make emergency returns to New York City area airports. It's a problem that stretches back to 2009, when Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger famously ditched the Airbus he was piloting into the Hudson River after a birdstrike disabled the plane's engines.

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