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Things You Could Have Done with $38 Instead of Buying a Share of Facebook Stock

AN UNFAIR SHARE DEPT.

As shares of Facebook stock continue to fall, many investors are now wringing their hands, ruing the day they paid a whopping $38 per share for Facebook’s Initial Public Offering. With billions lost and the stock now down over 20%, all that investors can do is weep uncontrollably and think about all the great things they could have spent that money on. 

Tom Richmond Won the Reuben Award!

AWARD FOR THE WISE DEPT.

The National Cartoonists Society held the 66th Annual Reuben Awards in Las Vegas this past weekend. The big winner at this year's ceremony was none other than MAD's very own Tom Richmond, who took home the Reuben Award for Outstanding Cartoonist of the Year! The Reuben is the highest honor a professional cartoonist can receive.

Other Explosive Vatican Secrets Revealed by the Pope's Butler

POWER TO THE PAPAL DEPT.

Recently, The Pope’s butler was arrested on charges that he’d stolen secret documents! This is huge news! The Pope has a freakin’ butler! (That must be a VERY fancy gent!) You might be wondering — are the secrets he leaked actually that embarrassing? Is the Pope Catholic?!?! 

Other Product Placement in the New James Bond Movie

LICENSE TO SHILL DEPT.

It was recently announced that in the next James Bond movie, Skyfall, the legendary spy will not be drinking his trademark martinis — instead he’ll be sipping Heinekens. We think it’s shameful when a classic institution whores itself out (unrelated, but be sure to watch MAD on Cartoon Network!) — and we realize it’s only the beginning in a slew of dreadful product placement in the Bond films.  

The Further Adventures of Obama Head-Touch Boy

RUBBED HEAD OF STATE DEPT.

The New York Times today published an article about 5-year-old Jacob Philadelphia, who, on a visit to the Oval Office in 2009, asked President Obama if he could feel his hair (a question that will definitely never be asked if Mitt Romney wins in November). A photographer captured the heartwarming moment, and the photo has hung in the White House ever sinc

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