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MAD Exclusive: The Prayer Mitt Romney Left in Israel's Wailing Wall

MITTSHUGGAH DEPT.

Recently presumptive presidential nominee Mitt Romney made a holy pilgrimage to Jerusalem, where, just like any other divinely-inspired traveler, he was immediately showered with over a million dollars in campaign donations. Romney even visited the Wailing Wall — world-renowned for its cracks packed with the written prayers of visitors. Always respectful of local customs (and the opportunity to sway impressionable Jewish-American voters), Mitt stuffed in a prayer of his own. The Idiotical has an exclusive look at what Romney wrote on his slip of paper. Don’t believe us?

MAD About the Olympics

CLASSIC MAD DEPT.

Well, it’s that time again! Exaggerated athletic pride, feigned international cooperation and millions of people asking what the hell “dressage” is. For a couple weeks every four years we get the chance to scoff at a physically perfect Norwegian gymnast performing a slightly off-center landing, even while we’re barely able to trudge our flabby butt over to the nearest Taco Bell.

MAD EXCLUSIVE: The First Draft of Kristen Stewart’s Apology

THE TWILIGHTER SIDE OF DEPT.

Yesterday, Twilight star and professional pouter Kristen Stewart admitted to a fling with her Snow White and the Huntsman director, Rupert Sanders. Her on- and off-screen beau, Robert Pattinson, was crushed by this news, as was Stewart’s legion of pre-teen fans who finally got a glimpse at a harsh reality of love that vampire books can never fully illustrate.

Emerging Details From North Korea Leader Kim Jong Un’s Recent Wedding

UN-TRUE LOVE DEPT.

Today it was announced that recently-appointed North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has entered the bonds of holy matrimony. Not much is known about the wife, Ri Sol-Ju, besides the fact that she has a thing for round, frowning despots. Although North Korea is a notoriously secretive country, details of the wedding spectacular still seem to be leaking through. Maybe Kim’s drunk uncle Frank accidentally went on a rant to the press. Maybe the wedding cake had a delicious, wire-tap center.

NBA Jerseys We’ll Soon Be Seeing

NBA-HOLES DEPT.

Although the final decision won’t be made until 2013-2014, it’s looking like the NBA is going to start putting corporate logos on team jerseys. Who knows — with this new revenue stream, maybe the league can finally pay LeBron a proper salary (The man has a family to feed, dammit)! On the downside, though, once you start messing with sponsors, things can easily get out of hand.

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