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The Real Reasons Why Ann Curry Was Fired from "The Today Show"

GOOD MOURNING AMERICA DEPT.

Ann Curry has left her co-anchor position on NBC's The Today Show, saying a tearful goodbye to viewers just as NBC execs were saying a tearful goodbye to the show's 852-week streak as morning ratings champ. Officially, Ann was ousted from the position after Good Morning America took the top ratings spot, but who can say what really happened in the fast-and-furious-and-forgettable world of morning TV? We can. 

Obamacare Stands: Music to Liberals’ Ears

FULL COURT MESS DEPT.

The Supreme Court upheld Obamacare today — but NOT along the usual 5-4 split as “experts” predicted. The usual “swing vote,” Justice Kennedy, agreed with reliable right-wing gasbags Scalia, Thomas and Alito. But Chief Justice Roberts punk’d his conservative colleagues by voting with reliable left-wing gasbags Kagan, Kennedy, Sotomayor and Ginsburg.

The Real Reasons John Edwards and Rielle Hunter Split Up

A HAIR TO REMEMBER DEPT.

John Edwards and Rielle Hunter recently announced that they’re ending their relationship. This marks the end of an era of cheating and lies — unless, of course, Edwards decides to reenter politics. Although many claim that Hunter’s newly-released, tell-all memoir was the reason for the split, we just aren’t buying it (the claim or the book).

Things the Supreme Court’s Obamacare Ruling WON’T Change

THE ILL OF THE PEOPLE DEPT.

This Thursday, the Supreme Court will rule on the legality of Obamacare — and while everyone from pundits to politicians to the average underinsured schmoe awaits the verdict anxiously, the truth is that no matter what the court decides, there’s plenty about our crummy healthcare system that will stay exactly the same.  

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