• Choreograph a fight scene for the next Transformers movie by watching two aluminum cans in a blender.

• Complain to the neighborhood kids about setting off 4th of July fireworks. Damn those loud explosions!

• Wrestle with transforming the sofa bed back into a sofa.

• Have Megan Fox wash his Ferrari. She needs the money.

• Start bidding war between Pennzoil and Quaker State over product placement in Transformers 4, Dawn of the Dusk.

• Schedule an appointment with his doctor (the Chesapeake isn’t the only Bay with crabs).