You are here
Halloween is here but you don't have a costume ready to go? What happened? Did Heidi Klum steal your idea? Or is it because you didn't order your Spy vs. Spy costume in time? If you plan on eating your weight in Fun Size Milky Way bars, you better put something over that mug.
Since we're full of the All Hallows spirit, we provide this print 'n' cut Alfred E. Neuman mask for all the Last Minute Larry's out there. You may still be the laughing stock of your office costume party, but at least it'll be for the right reason.
Aerosmith frontman and American Idol Judge Steven Tyler was on tour in Paraguay — that is until he started feeling dizzy and took a tumble in his hotel room! Sure, he got banged up, but there’s a silver lining! He now joins Prince Charles, Ted Koppel and David Letterman in our Celebrity Alfred E. Neuman Look-A-Like Pantheon! Congrats, Steven, and next time you ask, no, we will NOT “Walk This Way” (our health coverage is spotty at best)!
Longtime MAD readers will remember this ill-conceived product from 1987. Warner Books packaged five copies of Howling MAD and five copies of Monster MAD — each 16 pages — with the hope that people would distribute them to trick-or-treaters instead of candy. (Evidently Warner Books thought it was okay to rot kids minds, but not their teeth!) We have no idea if the Halloween giveaway was successful or not, but since we didn’t do it again the following year, we suspect Warner Books lost a bundle on the deal.
Anyway, we unearthed a bunch of them in our recent move and since we couldn’t find a single listing for them on eBay, it appears the public’s demand for these classics remains somewhere around nil.
Yesterday, we gave you the template to make an Alfred E. Neuman Jack-O-Lantern to ward off candy grabbers and pumpkin smashers. Today we make your front stoop even more secure with this Spy vs. Spy stencil! He's peeping through the keyhole, bomb in hand, ready to safeguard your gourd.
For instructions, click here. (Sorry, we're too lazy to take the time to copy and paste.)
Jack-O-Lanterns have long been a Halloween tradition. So has having them smashed by a bunch of snot-nosed little punks! This year, create an even bigger mess and scare away all those pesky brats looking for free handouts with our Alfred-E-Lantern stencil!
- 1) Click the image below to get a bigger version of the stencil, then print. Since you’re bound to screw up the directions on your first and second attempts, print out at least three copies of the stencil.
2) To make the stencil easier to cut and use, you may want to glue it to a thin piece of cardboard, a thick card stock, or a first edition copy of We Were the Mulvaneys by Joyce Carol Oates. Be creative — we won't tell!
3) Using an X-ACTO knife, razor or box cutter (which means you won't be able to carve your pumpkin at an airport), cut out the black portions of Alfred’s face. IMPORTANT: IF YOU'RE YOUNG, OR SIMPLY CAN'T BE TRUSTED WITH POINTY OBJECTS, YOU SHOULD GET THE HELP OF AN ADULT. Plus, if you're Jack-O-Lantern ends up sucking, you now have someone else to blame.
4) Place the newly-cut stencil on the front of the pumpkin and tape it in place. If you have extra tape, why not put it on your face and comically distort your features? Go ahead, we'll wait!
5) Welcome back! Using a permanent marker or paint sponge, fill in or dab over the stencil until the cut-out areas are covered. You'll now have an image of Alfred on your pumpkin. If the image resembles Regis Philbin, you've messed up big time.
6) Now, you can either carve Alfred’s face out of the pumpkin or simply leave the stenciled face as is. Both are equally horrifying!
If you've done everything right, your pumpkin will look like one of the two up top, only a whole heckuva lot less Photoshoppy!
If you were in our offices this past week, you might have thought they were filming an episode of “Hoarders”! MAD stuff everywhere! We filled 15 dumpsters, sent another 185 boxes to offsite storage and we still have more MAD stuff than we know what to do with. But don’t panic. We expect to be moved, unpacked and ready for funny business by Monday, October 24, 2101. (This is not a typo.)
After failing to follow through on her community service, Lindsay Lohan has been sentenced to janitor duty in the L.A. County Morgue. Here's what she can expect to encounter, in this classic article from Don Martin and Don "Duck" Edwing.
From MAD #273, September 1987
Can you spot the difference in these two photos of our friend "Weird Al" Yankovic?
That's right! In 1993 he wasn't shamelessly plugging his latest album!
UPDATE 11/29/11: THANKS TO ALL WHO SENT IN. WE CAN NO LONGER ACCEPT REQUESTS.
We've shown you lots of good stuff we found in our stock room cleanup, and now it's time for YOU to share in some of the bounty. The postcard you see below depicts MAD founder/publisher William M. Gaines, longtime editor Nick Meglin, and current (and also longtime!) editor John Ficarra "hard at work" in the old MAD office at 485 MADison Avenue. It was illustrated by the one and only Mort Drucker! (Yep, the very same Mort Drucker who used to draw covers for the Bob Hope comic book.)
We came across a big stack of them in the stock room, but as you can see, there was a limited number produced:
So, do you want one of your own? You DO? Luckily, they're easy to get: mail us a self-addressed STAMPED envelope that will fit the 3.5" x 5.5" card. We'll pop one in there, seal it with a kiss and send it back your way. One per customer, and make sure it's stamped! Send it to:
Three Idiots Postcard
New York, NY 10019
Once we run out, that's that! So stop reading this stupid blog and go find an envelope NOW!