Facebook is going public this week, which means you can now buy stock in the company! Well, YOU can’t — the stocks are extremely sought after and you have to be pretty well-connected to get your hands on them. And let’s face facts — if you’re reading the MAD website, you’re probably not well-connected. (Hell, you’re lucky just to be internet-connected).
JPMorgan Chase, the country's largest bank, just announced they lost $2 billion, primarily in derivatives. Since no one on the face of the earth knows exactly what derivatives are, we suspect the bank is lying. We tasked esteemed New York Times economist Paul Krugman to get to the bottom of this financial debacle. He refused. So we made up this list.